人，总是不会从过去的错误中学习如何不再犯错。
只有一次又一次的去伤害被伤害，才懂自己错得离谱。可是懂得错的人，却不一定记得那些过去的错；记得过去错误的人，却不一定懂得那些错；懂得错记得错的人，却不一定学会不犯错；而学会不犯错的人，却不一定不再犯同样的错误。
受过伤害的，总是不断的提醒自己，以后不要再这么不自觉，要记得如何保护自己，不可以再让同样的事发生。然而，自以为学会保护自己的人，却都忘了要记得护着那颗曾经受伤的心，以为伤口结疤了，就代表我没事了。
忘了系上绷带的心，其实脆弱的很。只要有个人走向它，稍微温柔的摸摸它，轻声细语地对它说话，心就毫不防范的将信任给了他。可是得到心的信任后，那个曾经对心温柔的人，却将温柔给了另一颗心。
失去信任的心，才想起那个结了疤的伤口。望一望伤口，啊。。伤口裂开了；摸摸伤口，噢。。好痛；原来流血了。可是，心却纳闷了起来，怎么这痛那么的熟悉？心坐着，用力的回想，才发现这痛，原来和上一次的痛是一样的；只是这一次，好像比较痛一点儿。
心带着伤痛离开了，然而它却把微笑留下来。微笑没有脚，跟不上心，只能弯下身，和坐在身旁的眼泪做朋友。回忆，转过头看了微笑一下，对它招招手；可回忆是哑巴，没办法提醒心要带上它的好朋友－微笑。回忆用尽力气拉着心，可这一拉，却把伤口拉裂了。
心好不生气，抱起回忆，将它锁在心里。失去微笑的心，没了快乐的元素，冷的异常；所以它必须用假面具包着它，这样心才能有走下去的力量。心不能哭，因为假面具会融化；所以不管心再痛，它也只能忍着，静静地等伤口再次结疤。
错了的人，要学会和错误做朋友；受了伤的人，要记得握好脆弱的心，因跌碎的心，是痛的。
Saturday
Appreciation.
Life is short. We can summarise our entire life in few sentences just like what we used to get in the emails. Everyone is doing the exact same things as others in their life, just that in a different place, different time and in different way : from nothing to one and from one to nothing.
Granpa passed away week ago. Mom told me not to cry because it's a bless that granpa can live up to 80 something and it is a release from him becau he was critically ill in his later years. Yet,my tears dropped the moment they closed the coffin.Mom and aunties cried sadly. We knew it very well that taht was the last time we gonna see granpa.
I wasnt that close with granpa compared to granma. But i remember the time when granpa held my hand,the way he spoke to me, the way he called my name and the way he smiled at me.
Life is really short and fragile.One second you're here, the next second you can be gone just like that. I always tell myself to appreciate everything that i have right now. But it is easier to say than done. I complain about my life, greedy about things that i don't have and never satisfy with what i have.
If tomorrow never come to me,i'll regret about lots of things. I haven't tell my parents how much i love them; i haven't thank my brother for everything that he did for me and his tolerance to me; i haven't build up my own career; i haven't be a mother yet......so many things i haven't say and do.
What is appreciation? What did i appreciate then? How to make my everyday without regretness? To be honest,i don't know. All i know is that i have to learn to appreciate every little things im having, going through and experienced.
Taking things for granted is just so wrong and yet, i always put myself in that position. Learning hard now :)
Granpa passed away week ago. Mom told me not to cry because it's a bless that granpa can live up to 80 something and it is a release from him becau he was critically ill in his later years. Yet,my tears dropped the moment they closed the coffin.Mom and aunties cried sadly. We knew it very well that taht was the last time we gonna see granpa.
I wasnt that close with granpa compared to granma. But i remember the time when granpa held my hand,the way he spoke to me, the way he called my name and the way he smiled at me.
Life is really short and fragile.One second you're here, the next second you can be gone just like that. I always tell myself to appreciate everything that i have right now. But it is easier to say than done. I complain about my life, greedy about things that i don't have and never satisfy with what i have.
If tomorrow never come to me,i'll regret about lots of things. I haven't tell my parents how much i love them; i haven't thank my brother for everything that he did for me and his tolerance to me; i haven't build up my own career; i haven't be a mother yet......so many things i haven't say and do.
What is appreciation? What did i appreciate then? How to make my everyday without regretness? To be honest,i don't know. All i know is that i have to learn to appreciate every little things im having, going through and experienced.
Taking things for granted is just so wrong and yet, i always put myself in that position. Learning hard now :)
Sunday
Train on the railway.
I go to work by lrt.So i'll be at the exact same lrt staion at the exact same time,standing at the exact same place every morning, yet taking different lrt.
I like everything to be under my control.It makes me feel secured.My mom told me once that 'you can get everything under your control so long as you're putting effort; but relationship is a total distinct creature. It's not something that you can control or predict no matter how hard you try to maintain it nor does it depends on how much effort you've been putting in. Relationship is about 2 different persons being together and if one of them is not taking it seriously, it will never work out the way you want it to be.'
My point is taking lrt is like being in a relationship.I can never control which lrt im taking everyday.Monday,it's my favourate lrt with KFC advertisement; Tuesday,it's a plain lrt; Wednesday, i missed my KFC lrt and i took Guardian's one; Thursday and Friday,i couldnt recall which lrt i was in.
1st time relationship, he's my perfect man but lack of element of trust between us; 2nd time, he's a total jerk but i trusted him so much; 3rd time, he's a sweet little dude but wrong timing. So, how would my 4th time relationship be like?will it be the right one or just a fling or a romantic one?Could it be a matured thinking man or a plain and boring man?
I could have just waited at the platform until my favourate train is here,only then i'll get on it.Alternative,i could have just sqeezed into the train eventhough it's so packed and crowded cause i have no extra time to be wasted on waiting.If the train is overly crowded and im almost suffocated,i can get down from it at the next station.
Which is the better option for me?Do i have an option afterall?You and i will never know what's waiting for us in front.A guy who i lost my way to him is like a train in the opposite lane which moving at the opposite direction of me.Even if i try to catch him by taking the train on my side,we will always be at the opposite lane eventually.
I hate waiting n yet i can't catch him up.So i guess the next train would be a better option,right?
I like everything to be under my control.It makes me feel secured.My mom told me once that 'you can get everything under your control so long as you're putting effort; but relationship is a total distinct creature. It's not something that you can control or predict no matter how hard you try to maintain it nor does it depends on how much effort you've been putting in. Relationship is about 2 different persons being together and if one of them is not taking it seriously, it will never work out the way you want it to be.'
My point is taking lrt is like being in a relationship.I can never control which lrt im taking everyday.Monday,it's my favourate lrt with KFC advertisement; Tuesday,it's a plain lrt; Wednesday, i missed my KFC lrt and i took Guardian's one; Thursday and Friday,i couldnt recall which lrt i was in.
1st time relationship, he's my perfect man but lack of element of trust between us; 2nd time, he's a total jerk but i trusted him so much; 3rd time, he's a sweet little dude but wrong timing. So, how would my 4th time relationship be like?will it be the right one or just a fling or a romantic one?Could it be a matured thinking man or a plain and boring man?
I could have just waited at the platform until my favourate train is here,only then i'll get on it.Alternative,i could have just sqeezed into the train eventhough it's so packed and crowded cause i have no extra time to be wasted on waiting.If the train is overly crowded and im almost suffocated,i can get down from it at the next station.
Which is the better option for me?Do i have an option afterall?You and i will never know what's waiting for us in front.A guy who i lost my way to him is like a train in the opposite lane which moving at the opposite direction of me.Even if i try to catch him by taking the train on my side,we will always be at the opposite lane eventually.
I hate waiting n yet i can't catch him up.So i guess the next train would be a better option,right?
Friday
Sprained Right Ankle.
I sprained my right ankle n it hurts.
This is something i hated the most.It reminds me of the incident happened 5 years ago where i had my kneecap surgery.That was a horrible experience.Laying on the bed for a month and walking with cluthes for 2 months.
And now,my ankle is still pain.I told Cheng tat i need a bf at this very moment n she said 'u shld go n see doctor.the doctor will be ur bf.'
Yeah,this is so not funny.Supposingly,im going to do some shopping wif Ally tmr n i have a lunch date with my ladies on sunday.
Pray hard to God,hope tat my ankle will be fine tmr.I've convinced n get myself used to being single very well all these while,and,im pretty happy with my life now.
Yet,this spraining thing made me so wanted a bf now,i need a bf to carry me and i hate this.
This is something i hated the most.It reminds me of the incident happened 5 years ago where i had my kneecap surgery.That was a horrible experience.Laying on the bed for a month and walking with cluthes for 2 months.
And now,my ankle is still pain.I told Cheng tat i need a bf at this very moment n she said 'u shld go n see doctor.the doctor will be ur bf.'
Yeah,this is so not funny.Supposingly,im going to do some shopping wif Ally tmr n i have a lunch date with my ladies on sunday.
Pray hard to God,hope tat my ankle will be fine tmr.I've convinced n get myself used to being single very well all these while,and,im pretty happy with my life now.
Yet,this spraining thing made me so wanted a bf now,i need a bf to carry me and i hate this.
Thursday
What kind of man am i looking for.
There's one question tat men n women like to ask: what kind of man/woman are u looking for?
What kind of man am i looking for?Hmm..i want a manfriend instead of a boyfriend.I want someone who knows how to enjoy life,someone who is smart,who is intelligent,who knows what he wants n what he is capable of.I want someone who understands love,who is loyal and caring.If possible,i want someone who is good looking,of course not the 'handsome' good looking type but he has to be my type.Oh yea,this is so prince charming and Mr Perfect.
It is always i want..i want..i want..But is it really possible to get what i want?To be realistic,what i want and what i can get is totally two different story.I can point out watever i want from a man in just a second but it's never enough even if i spend my whole life looking for one. Im not that stupid to think that i can really get all i want from a man.Nobody is perfect in the world.
Im aint perfect as well.So who the hell am i to request for such a perfect man.Plus,a perfect man like that is non-existance.So gals,wake up from all ur sweel little dreams.It's never gonna happen in real life.
Have u ever met someone,someone who doesnt fit all ur requirements n yet he touches ur heart and u have the butterflies in ur stomach.u're so wanted to get his texts or his calls,even if it's just simple text like how's ur day or have u taken ur dinner..bla bla bla,u'll be fucking happy as if u're in the heaven and starts interpreting his meaning like omg,he asks me have i taken my dinner,is he trying to ask me out for dinner?he shld be interested in me,rite?he texts me first.
And when u're out wif him,every little insignificant action of him drives u crazy.U think he's cute when he sneezes,he's so cool when he's not talking,he's so knowledgable even if he's just cocking around.What could i say,he's just too perfect for me.He's the one i've been looking for ages.His voice is so deadly sexy even when he got the flu.His smile makes my day,his call is my wake up coffee and he's my everything~~
So again,what kind of man am i looking for?Well,my answer would be: Im looking for someone who im willing to perfectise him for myself.
What kind of man am i looking for?Hmm..i want a manfriend instead of a boyfriend.I want someone who knows how to enjoy life,someone who is smart,who is intelligent,who knows what he wants n what he is capable of.I want someone who understands love,who is loyal and caring.If possible,i want someone who is good looking,of course not the 'handsome' good looking type but he has to be my type.Oh yea,this is so prince charming and Mr Perfect.
It is always i want..i want..i want..But is it really possible to get what i want?To be realistic,what i want and what i can get is totally two different story.I can point out watever i want from a man in just a second but it's never enough even if i spend my whole life looking for one. Im not that stupid to think that i can really get all i want from a man.Nobody is perfect in the world.
Im aint perfect as well.So who the hell am i to request for such a perfect man.Plus,a perfect man like that is non-existance.So gals,wake up from all ur sweel little dreams.It's never gonna happen in real life.
Have u ever met someone,someone who doesnt fit all ur requirements n yet he touches ur heart and u have the butterflies in ur stomach.u're so wanted to get his texts or his calls,even if it's just simple text like how's ur day or have u taken ur dinner..bla bla bla,u'll be fucking happy as if u're in the heaven and starts interpreting his meaning like omg,he asks me have i taken my dinner,is he trying to ask me out for dinner?he shld be interested in me,rite?he texts me first.
And when u're out wif him,every little insignificant action of him drives u crazy.U think he's cute when he sneezes,he's so cool when he's not talking,he's so knowledgable even if he's just cocking around.What could i say,he's just too perfect for me.He's the one i've been looking for ages.His voice is so deadly sexy even when he got the flu.His smile makes my day,his call is my wake up coffee and he's my everything~~
So again,what kind of man am i looking for?Well,my answer would be: Im looking for someone who im willing to perfectise him for myself.
Wednesday
Re:Is it too late to say goodbye?
One of my buddies decided to go UK for his studies suddenly.
It's lame to say i'm happy for him bla bla bla...cuz it's just too lame,buddies dont need to say those.
To be honest,im kinda sad for his leaving.He nvr mention bout his decision to go overseas until everything is settled.Just too sudden.We all dun even have time to farewell for him.
I realised tat i've been taking things for granted all these while.We used to hang out a lot,party a lot,cocking a lot..etc.When i was bored,he's there to entertain me.When i was being dumped,he's there to comfort me.When i was being bitchy,he's there to enjoy my show.When the new movie is on,he's there to company me.
Never thought of one day he's no longer there for me.The feeling is same like when i broke up wif my ex but the difference is im not heartbroken.Either way,it sucks.
Anyway,all the best to him.Hope tat he can hook up wif some hot blondies there n bring back some sexy guys for me.
It's lame to say i'm happy for him bla bla bla...cuz it's just too lame,buddies dont need to say those.
To be honest,im kinda sad for his leaving.He nvr mention bout his decision to go overseas until everything is settled.Just too sudden.We all dun even have time to farewell for him.
I realised tat i've been taking things for granted all these while.We used to hang out a lot,party a lot,cocking a lot..etc.When i was bored,he's there to entertain me.When i was being dumped,he's there to comfort me.When i was being bitchy,he's there to enjoy my show.When the new movie is on,he's there to company me.
Never thought of one day he's no longer there for me.The feeling is same like when i broke up wif my ex but the difference is im not heartbroken.Either way,it sucks.
Anyway,all the best to him.Hope tat he can hook up wif some hot blondies there n bring back some sexy guys for me.
Monday
Re: S Moment.
It's been sometimes since my last blog.I almost forgotten tat i was once a 'blogger'.
Life after exam aint as interesting as i expected.Nothing extraordinary happens.I've been planning a lot during my exam like i gonna party gao gao after exam,i wanted to be a player,i gonna shop till my pants drops,sleep for at least 12 hours a day...bla bla bla.
Well,i guess im never a good planner afterall.None of my plans works apart from the shopping part.But i did hv some good times hanging around with my frens,my housemates n my family.Of course,to make myself feel better,i find myself good reasons for my failures.
1. I didnt get to be the party animal.Hmm...i think im too old to do all the party thingy.
2. I fail to be a player.Well,this is mission impossible for me cuz im scared of karma and i cant sleep around.Also,two timing sucks.
3. Be a sleeping beauty.Okay,1st of all,im not a beauty.so this aint workable anyway.2ndly,sleep too much makes me dizzy.
4. Others.since the 1st three biggest missions failed miserably,no point to move on to my other tiny little plans.
Though im a loser so to speak,still,there're 'achievements' during my holidays:
1. im gaining n i got a lil tummy now.fucked.
2. Miss pimples came n pay me a visit.i mean i dun mind saying hi to them but pls,dun lar take vacation here.
3. i get to bitch around.yea~
Conclusion: another boring holidays for me.And,im fucking nervous now.Result gonna release soon.i know im gonna fail n yet,im worried.Pray hard* Amen.
Life after exam aint as interesting as i expected.Nothing extraordinary happens.I've been planning a lot during my exam like i gonna party gao gao after exam,i wanted to be a player,i gonna shop till my pants drops,sleep for at least 12 hours a day...bla bla bla.
Well,i guess im never a good planner afterall.None of my plans works apart from the shopping part.But i did hv some good times hanging around with my frens,my housemates n my family.Of course,to make myself feel better,i find myself good reasons for my failures.
1. I didnt get to be the party animal.Hmm...i think im too old to do all the party thingy.
2. I fail to be a player.Well,this is mission impossible for me cuz im scared of karma and i cant sleep around.Also,two timing sucks.
3. Be a sleeping beauty.Okay,1st of all,im not a beauty.so this aint workable anyway.2ndly,sleep too much makes me dizzy.
4. Others.since the 1st three biggest missions failed miserably,no point to move on to my other tiny little plans.
Though im a loser so to speak,still,there're 'achievements' during my holidays:
1. im gaining n i got a lil tummy now.fucked.
2. Miss pimples came n pay me a visit.i mean i dun mind saying hi to them but pls,dun lar take vacation here.
3. i get to bitch around.yea~
Conclusion: another boring holidays for me.And,im fucking nervous now.Result gonna release soon.i know im gonna fail n yet,im worried.Pray hard* Amen.
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